Keany?
As a kid I always have wondered in this body where am I?
It used to be mostly when I was in trouble for having not done my homework, or my mom yelling at me for emptying the whole overhead storage to water my darling plants. Always during this time, I used to be hurt, real hurt. Felt like everything is wrong, there used to be this strong feeling in me which brought this salty discharge in my eyes (thank you Sienfeld).So at this point of time I used look at my physical self and wondered which part of my body actually felt this pain. I always wished I was my nail, which I could cut off the next morning.
I used to look at myselft and wonder??? Is it my fingers which was feeling this pain? definitely I did not find me there. Legs??? no I did not find me there as well. How about my tummy? Thats where I feel my hunger, well No I did not see me there, hmm thinking to be smart guessed is it my heart? nope not there :( oH!!! mabbe my brain :)?? Nope!! did not feel like I was up there. Was it my eyes?? definitely not cause I closed it shut or mabbe my ears nope!! cause I could still hear these thoughts. So ultimately where am I?
As a kid I always have wondered in this body where am I?
It used to be mostly when I was in trouble for having not done my homework, or my mom yelling at me for emptying the whole overhead storage to water my darling plants. Always during this time, I used to be hurt, real hurt. Felt like everything is wrong, there used to be this strong feeling in me which brought this salty discharge in my eyes (thank you Sienfeld).So at this point of time I used look at my physical self and wondered which part of my body actually felt this pain. I always wished I was my nail, which I could cut off the next morning.
I used to look at myselft and wonder??? Is it my fingers which was feeling this pain? definitely I did not find me there. Legs??? no I did not find me there as well. How about my tummy? Thats where I feel my hunger, well No I did not see me there, hmm thinking to be smart guessed is it my heart? nope not there :( oH!!! mabbe my brain :)?? Nope!! did not feel like I was up there. Was it my eyes?? definitely not cause I closed it shut or mabbe my ears nope!! cause I could still hear these thoughts. So ultimately where am I?
I am 27 now and still wonder!! Sometimes when I am miserable I think of being my nose or eyes which just has to breathe and see. So that I don't get blamed for anything then. I mean think about it, have you heard anyone yelling at a nose saying,
Hey you NOSE !! You did a bad job. How could you??
PFfft!!!!! Silly
Well it kind of firms my thinking of not being either in the nose or eyes. So "THE I" that I talk about is probably the soul. Is this what is called soul searching, in my case in the literal sense I am searching for me in my body...
On similar grounds, I have also wondered,
Is the colour I see and the scent I smell same as the next person??
If a human body is a combination of some chemicals then why is one colour which I may like is not liked by another?
Why is it that a dress I like will not be liked by others?
Is it because the chemicals in my eyes see red colour as blue and these chemicals in another person see blue colour as yellow and red as green?
Who can vouch that what I see is the samething as what next person is seeing? These were the thoughts I had as a kid and I still seem to have it with no answers :(
So when a kid asks me these question, for which I haven't found my answers what am I going to reply?
S and me have spoken about this. Sometimes he links these things to hinduism. Saying these things are felt by other people as well and Hinduism is mostly about soul searching and attaining Nirvana. If thats true then I am a true hindu with questions. Now if these questions have been raised during those times then where are the answers?????
No comments:
Post a Comment